In the months preparing for the arrival of the baby, I stocked up on all things monkey. Onesies, socks, mitts, toys, bathrobes, everything. If you met myself or my husband, you would understand. We were fully prepared for a little monkey, with a full head of dark hair and dark eyes just like mommy and daddy had at birth. You can imagine our shock when she came out nearly bald, with red-toned fuzz, and eyes that kind of blue that you know are likely going to stay blue after the requisite year of baby blues. Huh...just realized that's probably where the saying came from. For someone so book smart, sometimes I can be a little slow! Anyways...the baby looked more turtle than monkey, so that's what I've been affectionately calling her. With her little fuzzy head and penchant for bobbing her neck and sticking out her tongue, the resemblance is uncanny. So you can imagine my dismay when on a recent shopping trip, I noticed the tides have turned. Monkeys were SO last season. Now, the same towels, robes, onesies, that just months ago were adorned with monkeys, are covered in TURTLES. For real? Now I feel like an unoriginal hack, and while tempted to buy all things turtle for my little turtle, can't seem to rationalize buying the same exact items featuring a different animal. I guess I do have some conscious despite becoming a mommy spendthrift.
Time at home in front of the computer is a dangerous thing. Especially when there are so many things to BUY. As of late, it seems that my maternity leave pay has been used solely to provide for the baby. I'm being selfless, and still can shop! It's the best of both worlds really. Besides the staples like diapers and formula, there's toys to be had. Oh, the toys. Sure, she can't use many of them yet, but she will be able to soon. A playmat, a jumperoo, a swing, a bouncer, a tea set, a stacker, rattles, stuffed animals up the wazoo. And books. I had a field day at Border's going out of business sale. While deeply depressing, and part of the mourning process for my lost youth, I at least was able to add to the small library we are amassing for the baby. She's very advanced. She's already saying Maaaaaaaaaaaaa at the ripe old age of 2 months. Don't tell me otherwise. Oh what's that? Carter's is having a 25% off sale? Well, she does need some long sleeves for Fall. We can't have the baby being cold after all.
And I'm not really counting the money spent on photography and the printing of the countless pictures we're taking. This is all for posterity, and should be tax deductible. But damn that starts to add up too. And you can't have all these pictures just lying around...you need frames, albums, photo boxes, etc. And with the holidays coming up, there's Halloween costumes to purchase, Christmas outfits to select and photo cards to be created and sent...well, you get the picture.
I find myself wishing I was on the same mailing lists as my mother, just so I could receive those country-inspired junk catalogs in the mail, to "peruse" through to decorate the humble abode. And by peruse...well, probably buy. And the deliciously tacky and ironically named "Touch of Class". One must have a Safari room right next to the taffeta and marble Italian Renaissance room. And in looking for houses and seeing the interiors of some of them...well, it seems that this is a very popular catalog indeed amongst the Long Island housewife set. Remember what money can't buy kids...
It seems the turtle has finally been pacified after a fussy morning of not quite finishing her bottles and a minor poopsplosion. I'm going to chalk it up to being freshly changed in to an outfit covered in monkeys while being wrapped in a blanket covered in turtles.
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